Sunday, December 28, 2008

Random observations in the past year

It really helps to have the right perspective about one’s priorities. Clarity of one’s own thoughts makes life a little less complicated..:)

Its great to explore the unknown places. Our country is amazingly beautiful.

I find it very difficult to cook. Honest. The initial enthusiasm lasts a meal or two and then it ends up being nothing but a drudge.

Its stupid to think 'My work will automatically get me noticed'. Those days have long gone by. Its time to get yourself noticed and u need to shout it out 'this is what I can do'.

It makes perfect sense to address the issue at hand, instead of fighting it or trying to wish it away.

I hate to confess this but m sensing a generation gap between my parents and me. Now sometimes,it takes an effort on my part to reason it out with them.

I am laziness personified. Its nice for me to know that I have grown a little concerned of the way I look..earlier I gave it a damn….but now m learning to take care of myself.

When you know u are being rubbed the wrong way, give it to him/her then and there.

I thought I could judge people well.but ahem….people are like a labyrinth….guiding you the wrong way.

Your efforts pay…so work hard…workoholism as religion isn’t a bad idea …

Caffeine does help in injecting a bit of energy into u till the office clock says its time to go!!

The small things of life…make it beautiful…

Saturday, December 27, 2008

m lovin it!

its been just two days that I have resigned from work. and life is seeming to be heavenly right now!!
m enjoying every bit of it..:)) and y not...its giving me time to do what I love the most...sleep ..sleep n sleep.....after all m laziness personified...!!! there's nothing like snugging up in the warmth of the quilt till late in the morning and day dreaming and digging into my fantasies...!! I just kinda love to laze around in the mornings, napping on n off...into my whims n fancies...n having the ultra yummy christmas cakes for breakfast.....I shudn't be askin for more...!!!

"I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires" - Kahlil Gibran

Friday, December 26, 2008

the winter evenings...

I was at my grandma's place today...the day went on with the regular chatting n stuff. As the evening drew up,I decided to go out for a stroll in the colony....the place where I grew up...the place that has given me best of friends. though none of them are still around there but I stepped out with an anticipation, a feeling or just simply wanting to meet them there, in those streets n lanes we can so well relate to-the lanes could narrate our fights, our games,our secret talks,our crushes, our love lifes,our blunders so well.Out under the star lit sky,I realised the chill in the city is getting to its best...and the walks in the lanes n the by lanes was just so amazing…the very same lanes where I grew up cycling, playing badminton, and then graduated to the cozy evening walks with..!!!!
It was the same chill, the same lanes n the same feeling. It made me happy n all smiley…m not a winter person but these walks in winters at times can get the child out in me….I was enjpying the chill n let myself in it instead of wrapping myself in the usual warm n snuggy stuff. I was enjoying the calmness in the air, in the mind.

To top it all, I went to d gud ol’ Mother Dairy that has been a witness to so many big n small celebrations of mine. It once again became a part of the glee I was feeling in me with a cup of my usual ice-cream…umm…ice-cream while walking down the damn chilly dimly lit streets is a feeling words cannot describe….it makes u totally experience dilli ki sardi…

an evening cherished..:)

Sunday, December 21, 2008

dew on the green carpet

Dew on the green carpet,
Birds chirping in their nests,
Some are warm in their quilts,
Some are guarding others concrete.

The sun is struggling to spread its warmth
Beyond the clouds that have come down from heaven.

The ruins of the hours spent by
Tell the story for everyone..
Its burnt coal and tree branches for some
For others it’s a spread out quilt.

But the dew on the green carpet
Is the same for everyone.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Dog Mania

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney

Dogs love their friends & bite their enemies, quite unlike people.

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise .

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
Phil Pastoret


I am scared….for why do I feel so detached after all the happiness, after all has went well.. I feel nice but still there is a void…..why that loneliness…

Why do I wait for some soul to come and answer all my questions…to finish up all that I have left unanswered….
Do miracles really happen…or m I over sizing my goals…m scared that will I be able to achieve what I am aiming at….am I sure what m looking up to is the best, the perfect for me….

Will it be right to open up my dark secrets to anyone, will that person be trustworthy enough to not be back fire it on me….
Why am I feeling so scared to move ahead…to take risks…I have not been like this before….m feeling dependent, m holding myself back….why?

M scared..scared to move ahead coz nothing has been so hazy, so blurred before…decisions have not been so tough before…I need my guiding light to be with me once everytime…..

You know one of the most difficult things in the world is to come to terms with your own self. Both your greatness and your weakness.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Wanted...part 2

A few days ago I had updated a list of things I want in my life to happen….and to this day I realize what are we doing in our lifes..what are we here for….are we doing anything purposeful…nything that could change this world… nothing…zilch….zero…

What we are doing is running after our dreams…and fulfilling a handful of responsibilities that come our way as duties….

What are dreams? Our dreams are our wishes, our desires..its our ego….its our subtle way of saying or showing the world who we really are…with money, power, with status.

And when these dreams aren’t fulfilled we are shattered, frustrated, broken, ..we revolt around and shout about the world’s unfairness to us….the ego is bruised.

We have made our lives complex by the growing giving all the socially acceptable names and tags to all the not so acceptable things…

Don’t you think childhood was simpler….everything was clearer. A yes or a no would end it all. A child has the freedom to say no to a touch, to a pinch, to an arm he doesn’t like…. A child has the freedom to ask for things she likes and throw away things she hates…a child has the freedom to be brutually honest…

We ourselves have robbed ourselves of this innocence, of that freedom….to pursue our so called dreams….

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

That Dawn...

It was a usual morning we woke up to.
But someone came with its wings spread wide..
Its just that we were ignorant of its presence..
Standing tall outside…
Waiting to take away what was precious to so many of us…

We fought, we tried …
There was anxiety, chaos..
There were prayers with tearful eyes…
To let everything be as before…
But it wasn’t to be…
It had come but we couldn’t see it till the last..
Our conscience hits us for it till date…
It took you away…away..far away….

That dawn brought with it a thousand sunsets…

m learning....

I have lived two and a half decades
but I learn everyday
how to deal with cowards.
how to deal with maniacs.
how to deal with always sex on the mind men.
how to deal with life..

m learning..
how to smile with a baby...
look at the world from the eyes of innocence...
m learning how to look at the world from the transition from innocence to smartness.
m learning to be street smart.

m learning..
to understand friends..
to understand family...
to understand colleagues...
to understand relations…

m learning..
to rise up..
to raise my voice…
to let others know that m here….

m learning……

i want it dat way....

Its coming to me again….its creeping in slowly..i can see it…but m still not able to stop it..deep down I want it come..I can stop it but I know I won’t…it does give me relief…it does take me out of this world what if it brings along a little hurt and a little pain….
I'm waiting for all of it to hit me. I'm waiting for my little fuzzy wisps of happiness to be hushed away by the looming reality of something that I can see but still m blind to it…

heal the world....

this song is on my mind since...

There's a place in your heart, and I know that it is love
And this place could be much brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try, you'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel, there's no hurt or sorrow
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better place
Heal the world make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race

There are people dying if you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

If you want to know why, there's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong, it only cares for joyful giving if we try
We shall see in this bliss, we cannot feel fear or dread
We stop existing and start living
Then it feels that always love's enough for us growing
So make a better world, make a better world

And the dream we were conceived
In will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life wound this earth crucify
ts soul though it's plain to see this world is heavenly be God's glow
We could fly so high let our spirits never die in my heart
I feel you are all my brothers create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears see the nations turn
Their swords into plowshares
We could really get there if you cared enough for the living
Make a little space, to make a better place
For you and for me .......

Friday, November 28, 2008

Terrorists have succeeded

Mr. Prime Minister, in his so called address to the nation didn’t seem to believe in even one word or syllable of what he said. And why would he? He and all of his circle are sitting at home with their securities right in place. He would be completing his tenure in another few months. His government too faced problems like all others. His government too did what all others did…. Do not act and do not react…those who shout and make noise will calm down. Or is he genuinely helpless and waiting for a Naseeruddin Shah to come up and say ‘Koi M*******d, button dabake ye nahi tai karega ki mujhe kab aur kaha marna hai”

But thats exactly whats been happening.The terrorists have succeeded in their mission….they have been hitting hard on the country..they have showed it to us that they can and they will….they will hit us hard, in our ***** and we will keep watching numb and helpless.

Its not about Mumbai or Delhi anymore. It isn’t about “thank God my near and dear ones are safe.” What was the fault of those cops who laid down their lifes? What about those innocent people at the railway station or on the roads? What about those people in the hotels and the hotel staff? I am not intending to play the blame game here. But my only question is WHY? WHY US?

Why can’t our so called leaders lead the country to a safer high rather than making it vulnerable with every coming day? What is our intelligence doing? Can the politicians stop meddling with the law and order of the country for their own selfish interests? They have their Z security with them. We have a right to ask the same for us…will they be able to even face this question? This is absolute muck on the faces of the leaders of the country only if they realize it…they have politicized politics..its bizarre…. Its elections in Delhi tomorrow and as I go on the road, there are posters of BJP criticizing Congress for all the terrorism that has been happening around. Can I ask what difference would BJP have made? Nobody is here to lead the country..everyone is here for self power and money. Politics has become a game for all these people. The commom man is nothing.

Since Wednesday night, I have been terribly disturbed. I have many questions? It happened in USA once and never again did terrorists dare to strike back there? Why is India such a soft target? We have a great army and NSG team…why havn’t they been able to barge in and kill the pests…its been 24 hrs ???? It’s a shame not only for the present government but all the past governments as well. They have been ignoring this and to this day that it has taken a hazardous face. They like boasting about nuclear power. The political circle of the country was reduced to a child’s game to win support for the nuclear deal….Damn you will you save the people? What are your bloody nuclear weapons going to do now? Every hard earned penny of the people who died and who are living to see an uncertain fate is being wasted. The government will not do anything to build a secure future for us. I don’t know if I am able to come back from work tomorrow. I may be gunned down in the middle of the road. I should bloody well enjoy with the money that I earn rather than paying futile taxes to this irresponsible leadership.

I am angered by what my country has been put through .I am feeling helpless and I am feeling frustrated.

Should we want this bizarre to be normalized to wake to another dawn conditioned that this has become a normal occurrence???

Sunday, November 23, 2008


I have so many things in mind that I want,but I still can't really say that this is really want I want. Infact i want all of it....sslluurrrpp!!!

I have lot of professional dreams. I want them to be fulfilled ASAP.I dn’t want to wait. I am too impatient for that one step at a time theory. I think I need some counseling….

A man who will support my decisions and respect me for who I am. A man who would not expect those ‘a woman has to do this’ stuff from me coz my brain cells have not been engineered that way.

I want some decent bank balance which I can spend lavishly!!( pls dnt bother to ask me to define ‘decent’.)

My stupid friend is getting married and moving on to a different city……gosh….y couldn’t u find some nice guy in our city???.........i’ll miss u P…

I want to go on a holiday every 2 months to a nice hill station and into solace….is that asking for too much??

I want a splendid cook by my side all my life…coz I hate to cook….but I need to eat yummy food. The rats in my stomach have taste buds too….

I am laziness personified….will someone help me get out of this syndrome or u’ll see me knocked out of the house in a few months. :( :(

Will update the list soon…;)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Those Special Moments...

Those times when sitting alone, you just smiled……

Those times with friends,in the crowded of places, you have the most philosophical conversations…

That moment when you score more than you expected to…

That moment when you make small problems turn your life upside down and then smile later at your stupidity…

Those times when u end up sharing your dark secrets with the person u have disliked all this while..

Those times when we mis-judge people and then become best of friends later on…

That moment when you think of someone and the next second, her name flashes on your cell phone….

Those times when you went to college promising yourself to attend all the lectures, but end up sitting in the lawns with your best friend and all the junk food from the canteen and endless talks…

Those times of college when you intend to go to the third floor, but end up on the terrace engrossed in conversation….

Those project trips from college, the night stays at friends place and discussing what not….

The moment when someone who is very very close to you is going away from you,its paining inside but you smile and wish no matter where they go they always be happy..

A song on radio reminding you of someone….

The first breeze of winter…

Gazing at the star studded sky, cool breeze…all alone and at peace….

The priceless smile on your face when you bump into your childhood crush…

An inspiring SMS when you are feeling all down and out…

The mild rain and long walks…..and unforgettable conversations….

20 bucks and two hungry stomachs…

3.30 am….and still eager to talk more….

All of us have had those special moments….the small things of life that make it worth living. This reminds of the scene in Bluffmaster when Boman Irani asks Abhishek Bachhan to feel those special moments in life…..all of us have ours that makes what we call nostalgia…..and leaves us with a loss of words but million dollar smiles…..

Saturday, November 8, 2008

A Memorable Day

5th November….a very hectic day…lot of tension at work coz the next dawn brings with it an important milestone which will hopefully be achieved by the organization….there’s anxiety in the air, people are nervous but hopeful, preparations in full swing, a few arguments coz the pressure was taking the better side of every one…. The day ends hoping the next one is pleasant….get back home with a little work to be done and gear up for the big day….I feel a slight headache..just throw my papers aside…get on the net..try to work out and plan…not interested..just let it go…..hook on to one of the social networking sites…huh…no one online……( why is it that no fool is online when I genuinely need them…otherwise they are always there to waste their time and mine as well???)

well well…I realize I have to fill up an exam form…actually have been giving it since past 2 years but never qualified despite all my desperate attempts…the last I gave was my 4th attempt…and the result is expected any time soon….the day after is the last day for submission…so I run, fill it up and get it attested from my neighbour…come back…glued to the net again….casually just check the website…..and oh my God….the 4th attempt result is out….I do my prayers…and then call my sis to check the result..( coz m superstitious…I never check my result)…she is fumbling through the long never ending list of roll nos….I wasn’t very hopefull but yet hoping that its positive…and to my delight it indeed is….Oh my God!!! I just cannot believe it…m gaping with surprise, wonder, shock….and tears rolling down my cheeks…my mom n dad rush and hug me with excitement but my eyes are still on the screen trying to believe that my roll no. is there….I just could not believe it…past 2 years I have been working hard for this exam but the result had always been disappointing….so it was hard for me to believe that I had finally cracked it….i just cry and cry while my mom hugs me…I don’ t know why I was crying but I know I was….that reality was difficult to believe…..its been 3 days now but everyday I check the website to see my roll no. there….:))

its been something I have desperately wanted since past two years but when I have got it…m finding it difficult to believe…

strange how things just come up suddenly… was work as usual throughout the day and not a pleasant day to say the least and suddenly it became so so so memorable…..a date to remember…a day that turned my hope into a reality…

that’s life I guess…..

I thank the almighty, the guiding light for being with me….always.

Monday, October 27, 2008

anti smoking ads..

After the ban on smoking in public places is on and a lot of debate is doing the rounds in newspapers, I saw this bit and quite liked it........

From Blogger Pictures

From Blogger Pictures


Its easy enough to abandon your past and just live,
though only the desolate are granted this form of emptiness called Freedom.
Kazuya Minekura

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Very often I have encountered feminism being equated with hatred towards men. Its time we understand what feminism is? Feminism cannot be defined in two or three lines. It’s a movement. Feminism vouches for gender equality – equal rights, equal opportunities, equal say in matters pertaining to all the walks of life. Feminism is about fighting gender oppression.

Feminism is not about male bashing....its about equality and creating a society where women can stand up to themselves and equal to men...not above or below them but WITH them....feminists don't hate men. they hate patriarchy. they hate oppression.

Feminism is about helping women understand their rights... understanding themselves and their freedom..... Feminism is a movement. It was started by various people across the globe at various times to voice against the cruelty against India, Raja Ram Mohan Roy and Mahakavi Bharathiar were men who supported for women's education and opposed sati a cruel practice where a wife is forced to jump in to the fire after the death of her husband.......And in India these people are called as feminists.....

Feminism is the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of has got nothing to do with hating men................

FEMINISM is supporting women to think, act independently irrespective of social barriers(mostly created for men's pleasure). Gender roles are social constructions and feminism aims at fighting against those unfair practices that curb the rights and freedom of woman. Its about letting a girl treasure her childhood, enjoy her youth and live life according to her wish and not under any kind of oppression. Its about equal say in the family, in the society and in the world.

The Mindgames

Today I was over hearing a conversation between two girls seated in front of me in the bus.One of them was depressed and the other one was counseling her and repeatedly accusing her friend of thinking from the heart which leads to problems in her life. Now this caught my attention. We often talk about thinking from the heart and the head….it is commonly believed or atleast we all talk about in our daily conversations that people who supposedly are considered to think from the heart wear their emotions on their sleev whereas others who are considered to be more practical ones are not emotinal in their decisions and are good decision makers blah blah & blah... I mean, come on do we think from the heart??

Its all in the mind…..all our emotions are mindgames. Its our mind, our head that controls whatever we do and not our heart. Its pure simple logic which has been thrown out of the window in our conversations. All our emotions- love, hate, jealousy, attachment, detachment, sadness, happiness, anxiety, pressure- its all in the mind. Our mind is the controlling factor and not the heart. Wonder why that such a strong emotion like love is considered to be from the heart where in actuality or scientifically heart has no role to play.It is from our own will that we feel a particular emotion be it any. It is we who allow ourselves to love, hate,envy or feel jealousness towards aomeone. Its all in our mind and mind controls our emotions.

As I am trying to put it in words my feeling is changing from a thought to amusement for biologically heart is just an organ that controls other organs and blood circulation. It does not control our emotions…, hate is not from the heart….and ha ha…we all believe that it’s the heart at fault!!! It’s the heart that breaks..!! not realizing its our own mindgames, our will, our decisions that makes us do what we do….

Its all in the mind……

Never regret any thing,

bcoz at one time it was what you wanted......

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

sometimes its important to feel the pain

Yesterday, I came to know that an old friend of mine was in shambles!! I mean what do you do when 6 months into your marriage and that too a love marriage, you realize that your spouse is into an extra- marital affair….its scary. Its like turning your world upside down…..its a cyclone, a hurricane, I don’t know what but one thing I am certain of is that it blows away every shred of peace from your life. I would expect anyone to be hysterical here. But this woman was exactly the opposite. I wouldn’t say she was calm but she was numb, neutral ….not feeling the pain. Pain is important in our life. I wouldn’t wish her the pain but here I feel its important to feel the pain, to help you come to terms with the disaster and give a reality check . Otherwise what she is going through is worse or will be worse in the long run…escaping, rationalizing, sublimating the wrong/ the reality….she is not feeling the pain…the pain of a failed marriage, a failed trust.

Even psychology says that feeling of pain and crying are symptoms that the shock has been acknowledged and being accepted by the person. Repeated grieving in such situations reflects that the person is on the process of internalization of the pain and will learn to move on with the reality.

When ever we feel pain, it is also accompanied by a hope, a wish that things should fall back in place and be as before. Its this hope and this optimism that keeps us going. Its that human tendency to see good and positive that we wish, we hope, we pray and we grieve. Sometimes it is important to feel the pain instead of wishing it away because the alternative is much worse. Its hope that keeps us moving forward for if there is no hope there isn’t life. Life can’t be seen in black and white. It is more of grey that matters and makes life the way it is. It’s the grey that reflects the journey from black to white. And it’s the grey that holds the precious moments of our life, the struggles, the anxiety, the tension, the ray of hopes, the smiles…..that makes life worth living.

It makes me realize how happiness and pain are two side of the same coin..its important to feel the pain to relish the happiness in our lifes.

“I have had dreams and I have had nightmares,
but I have conquered my nightmares
because of my dreams.”


Sunday, October 12, 2008

random thoughts

just feeling a little restlessness inside me.....want to write but don't know what...
had a goood day..its sunday and the diwali cleaning up has started in the house..its one of those times of the year that I wait for....not that I am a cleanliness freak...actually m the most devoted procrastinator in the family when it comes to cleaning and other household work :)
but this safai time pre- diwali ...I enjoy it....coz its the time all of us get together to ensure there are no pests and dirt in the house...its fun when all of us get together..there no end to the stupid pj's that start cracking up and leg pulling...:)) so today the day was spent driving the cockroaches off the house....poor souls..I do not how many I murdered today...!

nothing on t.v ...m sick of repeated telecasts of every damn show...ddlj was being aired...m surprised I wasn't enjyn it....have I grown over ddlj or have I actually grown up out of that dreamy lala land....don't know but both sound equally disappointing to me....

didn't feel like talking to any friend didn't try calling up anyone... work tomorrow...I think I should doze off...but don't feel like...

last time caught up with a rahul bose movie....ANURANA...I hope I have got the name right...interesting it is....he was right....all relationships can't be given a name....its kinda true....complex. every relationship binds us and draws a line that stops us from making new ones....will write more on this later...

a friend just messaged....he wants to catch up with a movie....hmm...have figured out a time..lets see....after college going out for movies has become more of a priviledge...its rarely that I go for movies now.....oh what fun days in college we had...miss u guys...

I just realised that when ever we look back in life, we always think of the happier times we had...we dont want to think about bad times in any situation..its kinda good also...but past always brings smiles and it should....for all of us....amen.

my thoughts are wandering....I think I better let go...

Good Night!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Donate life....

When I was a kiddo I used to see that Ash n Big B promo on tv about eye donation....thats for the first time I learnt about eye donation and what is it.....I even heard my mom saying at times to donate her eyes when the inevitable comes...but down the line and many years, it was all forgotten...the roller coaster world had taken a toll on all of us....but many years later when I was sitting absolutly idle at home and trying hard to make the hours pass by...all of a sudden it struck me if it was like an insight....all those thoughts and I decided to take an wasn't at all difficult for me....I mean the was as if I just have to do it with no second thoughts....the conviction was very strong...I called up 2-3 medical practs and decided to register myself in a hospital close to the nest where I get back after hard dayz work....the counsellor was warm and inviting person who explained to me everything about organ donation and how my family needs to be well aware of my decision. I came back home and my folks had no objections but they just asked me to be sure about myself.....I was and my decision was given the final stamp..... it was a day before my birthday and probably the best gift I gave myself was a feeling I cannot explain and I'll not even try to...:)

now I proudly carry the donor's card in my wallet...

Life is precious. Too precious, to be lost to an organ failure. But millions have lost their lives when a vital organ failed to function in their body.

Organ and tissue donors leave a miraculous legacy. They are living proof that death can bring life, that sorrow can turn to hope, and that a terrible loss can become the greatest gift of all. Every day they lead us on a journey of hope, renewal, and transformation.

I humbly request to who so ever reading this...go ahead and donate your organs...

Let someone live a life after you are gone.....

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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

can't think of a title....

what I'll be putting down next is old, circulated millions of times over emails and sms but what the heck...I just love it!!

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the top most branch of the tree.

Now the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree, he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there!!!

okay, here goes another one.....

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Eid Mubarak!

Yesterday while coming back from work, I was having a conversation with my dad as to how the recent bomb blasts have spread the terror. The conversation arose after crossing Kalkaji temple where unexpectedly the traffic moved smoothly and was not snarled. There was no rush of devotees.It was somewhat strange for me for I have been crossing that road for years and during navratras, the traffic moves at its own pace there, thanks to the mela, the devotees thronging the temple and the processions outside which as always leads to chaos on the road. I was disappointed for the first time to not to have stuck in a traffic jam!

It was a special day yesterday which marked the last day of ramzan and the first day of navratras. I am all smiles when I see festivals occurring on the same day. Its not that I have the time to celebrate all festivals but still, I guess it brings with it a sense of warmth….to me at least! Its beautiful to see how the common people of diverse religions co-exist and celebrate in bliss as against the belief of the politico.

As for my own experience, living in a city like Delhi which has no culture of its own, one meets people from different religions and different beliefs. I do participate in Eid celebrations at my friend’s place and so do they on Diwali at my house. And we do like to leave behind these differences between muslims and hindus created by the managers of the country and publicized mindlessly by the media most of the times.
Infact, here I would want to share another beautiful example of religious co-existence. My work takes me to a school in a slum colony in Delhi where the occupants are muslims and hindus. Interacting with their children in school for about 6 months, I thought how simple it is a matter which has been maligned to the hilt by the known and the not so known of the country. In the short span of my work there, I happened to celebrate Rakhsha bandhan, Ramzan,Eid, Navratras and Diwali there. It was fascinating to see that raksha bandhan was celebrated with equal joy and warmth in both hindu and muslim households. During the ramzan time, children in school ensured that their friends who were observing rozas were feeling fine and comfortable. Children made it a point that they sit under the fan in the class so that it will be easier for them to beat the heat. And these were kids not more than 12 yrs of age. Both during navratras and ramzan, children shared the happenings at home and visiting each other home was a regular practice. I was enchanted. Both Eid and Diwali were celebrated with equal jest and warmth.

What else should we ask for. These are the households where the ‘not- so-educated’ live but the way they live, I salute them and the kind of values that they are imbibing in their children is appreciable. This is the way it should be….for our country, for the world.

Considering the present scenario, everyone around me is predicting riots and war. All I can say is that its very simple to co-exist harmoniously, if only politicians would let us.

It reminds me of a slogan : ‘Peace is not the way, peace is the only way.’

Eid Mubarak!

office affairs

Office affairs was the last thing I would have thought of a few days before till my friend gave me an honest confession. It was like a split wide open…and yeah it has gone quite sour…it is extremely difficult to work with someone whom you don’t know as to whether you are to love or to hate after you have been treated like a tissue and in a state of mind that is emotionally unstable and vulnerable towards a person at this point. It was a trap he had laid and she succumbed to it, easily letting go of her wisdom and good advice which she is quite capable of giving others. So at this point of time, she’s in a terrible state of mind.

All I can ask my guiding light is for some more wisdom to her and to me to help her out of this mess.


Friday, September 26, 2008


In the race between the cat and mouse mostly the mouse wins....


cat runs for the food but mouse runs for its life.

So...............remember PURPOSE is important than NEED....

the childhood fun

The other day in a school, I was just looking at the kids playing around and really really enjyn it….and I realized so much fun these childhood games were…that gangof ours and playing all sorts of games ranging from the good ol borin housie housie to kho kho to red letter and that evening wala galli ka cricket…:)…and then just vanishing up asap after hitting the ball onto someone’s window or when it landed up on the neighbours car….oh what fun it was!! Kya masti bhare din the woh……the cycling race….ah I was mad about it…..I used to cycle at such a speed. Once I even rammed into our colony ka kabadiwala!!!!ouch…! the teaming up in the badminton matches and then the fights too…

The summer holz – there was so much to do at that time except the homework.!! The early morning walks to JNU. Goofing up at some friends house or the other for the whole day, bringing the roof down and ruining the siesta for the rest of the members in the house!! And the walks in the dark streets of the colony and the most besuri antakshari songs we shouted at the top of our throats to add to the irritation and the restlessness of the people around when the electricity department played notorious… and then the lectures at home after all the mess had been done ;)))))

Oh how can I forget one tomfoolery we got into….we three friends used to read a lotta books and there was this bhaiya in our colony who used to issue comics and stuff during holidays. Looking at him we got this waggish idea of setting up our own library….we got hold of every damn book in our house…I mean trust me, we sneaked into every corner, every cupboard, every shelf and grabbed any book we could lay our hands on!!
We numbered the books which came up to around 200 and grandly named our library as the TAJ library using the initials of our names!!
We did actually sit down and made labels displaying the name of our library, pasted it on every book, made a record register , made posters , got them typed and pasted all over the colony…what freaks we were and I don’t know what made us do all of it. We took newspapers and an old bedsheet and laid down our library on the street. We used to operate in the morning and evening!!
Ha ha but lemme come to the most amusing part….in that whole one month, only 5 books were issued!! We tried our level best to bring in people and coax them to issue books but in vain…J…it was fun. I don’t remember if any of us were disappointed by the no one coming to our library issue….we just enjoyed the whole experience. Even today when I open my collection of books and have some of those books with the label TAJ library on it, nothing can stop a big smile on my face… after so many years, though the other two co-owners of the library are miles away and its been ages the three of us have even spoken to each other, I am sure the experience would make them think of us as a gang and feel elated….

Ah I just realized I got too deep into describing that activity….i guess memories are like that, you just can’t hold them back… I think its time to conclude this.Hey a must mention here has to be the durga puja time, the diwali melas in the colony….a time for all the gaiety, frolic and merriment.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

the big fat weddings...

These weddings are such a piss off I tell you... I just can't understand the concept of calling the whole world - and come to think of it, the two people getting married would even know the 50% people who are attending their wedding for they would be their mother's uncles or father's aunts and their kids and grand kids and who and who not........ the funniest part being - most of the people who attend these weddings (including me) don't even know the names of the two people getting married! Now how wierd is that? But it is like that... take it or leave it. I don't mind admitting it but the only good thing about all this marriage business is the food( only if it is good and that too is rare!:(

So basically there are precisely a few chossen things to do at a big fat indian wedding - gorge on food, observe people at their artificial best, children embarrasing their parents with their rowdiest behaviour,flaunt your new clothes, smile to people u dont even distantly remember, pretend as if u know every thing about your long lost aunties and uncles while tryin to do the namaste's and stuff,and lastly enjoy your dessert.

blah blah!

Remember the last time you felt the need to cry....
To why I am saying this is because I m feeling like crying rite now…...reason?? Well its too will be of no harm to me physically but mentally--hell yes!, its creating a lotta turbulence in my head…..And it won't really be worth mentioning and, but just so that my frustration is thrown out I'm doing this.Hell. At this point of time all I want is to get involved in any ordeal to take me away from all of it- every bit of it! But as of now all I can see is a void around me and the last thing that I want to hear from any soul is any senti stuff. Just leave me alone.Huh!

All I can say is that sometimes handling an unnecessary pressure which is not as complicated but since I tend to think over it again n again n not just let it go, its like a cyclone in my head. I am behaving, no thinking like a nerdo!

Why can't all of you live life calmly. I mean I don’t know y m I writing this, coz I know the few people who have been creating trouble in my head will not even be near to reading this…huh!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

a place above the clouds..........

This was my first trip to a place which lies beyond the claws of the tourism departments. And believe you me, it has been the most picturesque one till now. I was on my own for most of the little time I had out of my work schedule exploring the beauty sitting in the lap of nature. It starts with a 5 hour drive from Dehradun with the beautiful Ganges accompanying us till the mid journey. The river has its many facets- it was calm and it was slow, it was ruffling down the mountains in a torrential speed at the bends and curves, the rapids – ravishing.
From is silence an opinion?

The Ganga or for that matter, any river had never seemed to engrossing and so invigorating to me. There’s a lot to explore beyond that sometimes calm and sometimes ravishing river. It once again gave a spark to my intense desire for rafting…but it wasn’t the season since rafting is practiced only in winters. But it wasn’t a disappointment either since I could not get my eyes off the view outside. The most amazing view from a point where one could see a valley, mountains crossing each other and Ganges seemed to make its way from somewhere as if saying that if you can’t find a way, make your own!! It was a sight to behold.

A river never looked so beautiful to me. It has so many delightful, serene, placid facets not yet disturbed by the sophisticated savages that we are. It seemed to me yet so unexplored, yet so young and yet so vibrant. It was like playing peek- a -boo with the river, the mountains and me….Its all in front of my eyes as I am trying to word it down but I can’t… have to be there to experience it, letting all your sense organs indulge in that stupendous aura- the beauty, the air, the flora, the magic of being at that place….oops I haven’t yet mentioned where had I been…this experience with the Ganga is on route to a place called Anjanisain(Tehri) via Rishikesh, Kauriyala, Devaprayag.

The journey beyond the Ganga was not as interesting. It was typical mountain ride and as a result of the spiraling roads, nausea was taking the better of me. I was feeling nothing less than a zombie who had been working rigorously and veraciously since the last few days along with the frivolous conflicts at workplace and a few self- obsessed colleagues plus the zilch energy reserve due to the last minute travel schedule…huh…So I decided to doze off for the rest of the time and conserve my energy for the heavy schedule ahead.

I reached Anjanisain by 11.30 a.m and was to stay in the campus of an organization. The campus was nothing like we have in Delhi. I mean what do you (read I) expect from a place on hills….It was a huge mountain and the office etc. were at different heights on that same huge mountain.. Interesting! I was told that my room is at the top of the hill….It was not even in view from where I was standing. I was grumbling, yet delighted. For one, I mean I did not have the energy to climb the hill that high!! But somewhere delighted imagining the hill top …:).

As we started the trek uphill….ouch! it was difficult….They did not have a proper track to walk on…it was like climbing up a real and a rarely traversed mountain…with a few flat surfaces here & there to step on, wild plants alongside and it was steep… but then that 60-70 step climb up was more than exciting..I was up on energy as if I had just taken in a pack of Glucon-D and yo !!
From is silence an opinion?
The adrenaline had taken the better of me, but once up there I was so totally out of breath that it took me almost 10 minutes to restore my normal breathing!! I just sat there huffing and puffing, not even bothering to look around. And regaining my composure, my eyeballs were wide open. In the past 10 minutes I was totally ignorant of the bliss around me………it was mesmerizing, it was pulchritudinous. It was the highest mountain around and I was on top of it. There was a huge huuuuge valley just in front of my room…voila!!! I sat there stupefied for some time.

The walk downhill was easier on my energy level but had to be careful enough to watch my steps so as not to slip or …..( I don’t even want to imagine the consequences). I was back in my room in time to enjoy the breathtaking sunset and the night sky was amazing. I had never seen so many stars in my life outside a planetarium…the sky seemed as if it had been decorated with hundreds of bright and dull bulbs at a distance.. I am running out of adjectives to describe what I saw. It may sound stupid but I had never ever seen so many stars together. It was fantabulous,beauteous, stunning. The altitude and clear sky were both to my advantage that evening.

It was dinner time and since the dining hall was downhill, we had to again go down that trek and this time it was dark with no electric bulbs on the way…so walking down that path with just the dim lights of cell phones didn’t seem to be a cool idea but we had no choice;). So by the end of the day, climbing up and down the mountain thrice in pitch darkness with dense jungle and aware of the existence of some wild cats around was thriiiiillllllliiiinnnnggg!!!!

I am not an early riser, but next morning I abruptly woke up from my slumber at 5 and generally just peeped outside from behind the curtain. And what I saw, I’ll not write…just have a look.
From is silence an opinion?

From is silence an opinion?

It was totally a place above the clouds. At that point of time I couldn’t have asked for more from the existence above. After a few minutes of this amazingly spectacularly gorgeous panoramic view of the valley…or I should say the dense white clouds I felt the morning chill. So I stuffed myself in a sweater and captured the view through the permanent camera in my head and into my LTM from where it can never ever get deleted. Being above the clouds is so different from being in an airplane in comparison to when its in front of us in the lap of nature. So my next 2 hours were spent gazing at the movement of clouds, the hide & seek of the mountains and the occasional flirting of the breeze with the clouds…..a morning to remember!!
From is silence an opinion?

It started pouring heavily in the afternoon and what a noise the rain had. Firstly because of the height of the place, the clouds were low and their thunderous noise was deafning. And secondly since the rain was falling on tin roofs, it added to the… much more that we could not hear each others voice sitting in a closed room…so instead of trying to converse we just stood at the windows and relished the valley getting drenched.

The evening sky was not as clear as the day before but not bad either. I spent the evening again watching the stars and distant lights in the valley accompanied by some interesting conversations. Also a must mention here is the sound of insects. In Delhi, we hardly get to hear it unless crossing a park in the depth of night or during the monsoon nights. But here, the sound of insects was like the sound of music…you can hear it 24*7 loud and clear and it seemed so much in sync with the environ around. Not even once I felt as if it was noise to my ears.

The next morning was a more or less clear sky with the only one thing worth mentioning. It was a nice warm morning with the sun shining bright. And sitting out in the balcony, I noticed a huge black patch on a mountain at a distance. I doubted if I had seen this in the last two days and was wondering if there was a fire overnight or something. So I was back again to my friend there, who had come to the conclusion that my curiosity had no limits as he had been bombarded with endless questions in the past 2 days. So trying his best (as always!), he asked me to look up in the sky. I looked up in the sky and then back at him blankly…he smiled mischievously , but on getting back the dumbest look from me, he told me it was the shadow of the cloud above………I was just gaping with wonder…

Post lunch, it was time to pack my bags and the journey back home. The drive back was equally good and the last leg from Shivpuri to Dehradun was beautiful with lush greenery, cool breeze and a heavy if not torrential rain!!

It was a beautiful trip….very serene…with a lot of first times for me…hundreds of stars in the sky, a beautiful sunset, living on a place above the clouds, discovering the shadow of a cloud(of which I had never even thought before) and that peculiar sound of insects which never before seemed so fitting with nature…life never seemed more tranquil, serene and beautiful before.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

dse teenage frrrandzzz

Relationships surprise me at times…

The human mind can be really complex at times…
Relationships change, equations change….do people change? Be it a friend whom you have trusted all your life with your deepest secrets which you never thought of hiding from them.

There have been friends whom you consider to be your lifeline as teenagers. They be with you through the thick and thin of things. We divulge our dreams, our nightmares, our darkest secrets without even the blink of an eye.
The moments spent are forever cherished….the fun, the frolic, the evening walks, the cards( thankfully when we were teenagers, cards were in vogue….it may sound weird but I am thankful because I have something concrete to look back at those moments. These are momentoes for me which teenagers today have replaced with the all so expensive gifts..:( ).
Coming back to the thoughts going on inside my chronically thinking head… I am thankful to the existence for developing a relation of friendship….the no give and take dosti…a world in the world…away from the nagging, cchic chic of the so called relatives whom the children in the universe find difficult to relate to!!

But all the time , things can’t be hunky dory…gradually the rabbit fun hops out, the frogy mischievousness jumps out, the snake charm slides away, the bugs in the dosti jiggle in…. And as one of my friends suggested, Murphy’s law has its place in the world….It holds valid…if anything has to go wrong…,it will…...

We just keep wondering that something is going wrong. At times our ego stops us, at times its plain laziness(or energy conservation!) to make that extra effort. But all this while, the draconian termite is making our fevicol strong wall crumble inside while we are still trying hard to polish it from outside. We grow up entering into this big bad world….meet more ‘sane’ people while we are in the process of loosing our own ‘sanity’. The complexity of the world takes on us and not even the sparks are allowed to breathe.
Time goes on, new people sneak in. We as sophisticated savages try our level best to make new best friends….to find rhythm in differently tuned in strings. At times we succed, at times we stumble and fall.

Life takes its own course and we start ignoring people who matter most to us as faded paint on the milestones on the highway we just pass by. The cards on the study table find their way into boxes and files and these files are further dumped into the darkest corner of the ‘not so important things almirah.’

And then ……the mad cleaning during the once in the five yearly whitewash plan takes you down the memory lane to those cards and friendship bands….or the social networking sites help us track them down….sometimes the sparks rekindle….sometimes we run out of words…

But are really these so great childhood friends worth loosing in this Amazonian rainforest type of world..??

Monday, August 25, 2008

an inspiring reply

the question that most of us ask to the existence when things go haywire in our lives.... WHY ME?? I came across this very interesting read......

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of CANCER.
He received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:"Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?
To this Arthur Ashe replied:
In the world ...over --
5 crore children start playing tennis,
50 lakh learn to play tennis,
5 lakh learn professional tennis,
50,000come to the circuit,
5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbeldon,
4 to semi final,
2 to the finals,
When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?".
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"
Happiness keeps u Sweet,
Trials keep u Strong,
Sorrow keeps u Human,
Failure Keeps u Humble,
Success keeps u Glowing,
But only God Keeps u Going.....
I hope everyone will learn something from this thankful to what u have got.......

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

pedestal for sorority

Its always on my mind about how our culture and language perpetuates patriarchy in our society. Day in and day out, instances, experiences flourish which shriek how the female sex is being subdued at every crossroad of life. But it is only we as a society that is turning a deaf ear to this.

Being a person with immense faith in God, there have been times when I have been forced to question that solemn, solicited belief as well. I often ask myself why when we refer to Gods and deities do we address them as HE in general. The whole of the God fraternity is referred to as male where in Goddesses are the ones majority of people exercise their faith in. This reference is to all religions but talking about Hinduism in specific, the reverent ‘aarti’ that every God fearing Hindu child learns in the process of transgressing from childhood to adolescence to adulthood has a specific line that states “ aarti jo koi nar gave”( every male who sings this hymn). Even during the bad days of the menstruation cycle, some religions forbid women to pray. And all this is followed with rigorous fervor. This makes me rethink and ponder over the sociological thoughts when we say “sex is a biological construct where as gender is a social construction.” People might say that, since religion, cultures etc all are part of the social domain. I agree if I would be talking about it in purely sociological terms sitting in the four walls of the classroom. But what about those stories we have learnt growing up where Brahma is the creator and that god’s resided on earth. So where is the social aspect where our minds have been engineered by the almighty to think in a particular aspect and be unfair to the 'fairer sex'???

Coming down to the more intricate aspects of life, I would not like to touch upon what everyone knows about and talks but does nothing. Being an educator, I would like to elucidate on portrayal of women at various forums like school textbooks, articles in so called women's magazines etc that play a major role in setting up frameworks in our mind about women and their role. Gender equality is totally skewed in the school textbooks. I think that’s where I should start from.....pick up a grade I'll have a chapter on ‘my family’.....mind you it would have pictures....and the pictures say....papa is reading a newspaper, boy child is playing cricket or watching TV....what about the female members???I don’t think I should applaud you for guessing it....its obvious. The girl child is playing with a doll, and of the most obvious mother is in the on various occupations..... doctor, policeman, engineer were depicted by men; nurse, teacher depicted by women. There was a study conducted in metro cities checking out the gender ratio in university faculty....and believe you by far out numbered women....and we very comfortably say teaching is a soft profession....meant for women.Coming back to the point, trust me 99% books depict this....and then we talk of gender equality when we are giving such a sexist socialization to the young minds.

Media ideally should act as an agent of social change and should break these unfair and unjust images of women being treated as sexual objects and being shown as the weaker sex. But the media itself represents women as sexual objects- be it explicitly or implicitly.... No commercial advertisement is complete without a female model. It is a cliché. Can I ask why is a woman required in every damn ad be it an ad for menz products or electronic gadgets or mutual funds or cell phones.....are we that dissolute or promiscuous? Here I am not taking about one or two ads that can be put in the exceptional category that portray woman power as strength but stating my thoughts on a general overview.....The hidden agenda is to exploit the sexuality of it any which way...

By now many brows must have been raised questioning my thoughts. My view may seem to suggest that I am absolutely ignoring the rise of the feminism bandwagon and woman empowerment in our society. I agree that there has been an immense change in the past few years with the development through education. Women have become aware and have the courage to stand up and raise their voice. But believe you me, it’s not even a milestone achieved.
Its baneful but even in very much educated, high up and modern households, male domination holds strong, so much so that women even fail to acknowledge it. I would again blame it on the socialization process which sadly has a strong pedagogy for a curriculum specially designed for girls with heavy duty subjects like sacrifice, compromise, homeliness ,being a good daughter, sister, wife and a daughter- in-law and practical lessons on how to blur your own identity in the chemical emotional romance called life of a girl child. And the way the separate gender roles are rooted in the young minds is difficult to extricate. We are living in an educated barbaric society. We do not need glasses to look for these morbid existences. Its clandestinely explicit.
The case is clearly visible be it urban or rural India. Its drab, dour and draconian. My concern here is not that section that is blogging, studying in universities and is well aware about the nuances of our social existence but the remaining majority.

Who do we blame for all this and how do we look for answers.? When we talk of woman empowerment, its not a concern just for women. It’s the concern of the society in totality- not women but men as well. The desocialisation has to be equal for both men and women.
It’s the men who are dominating. True, women need to rise for themselves but men need to make space for them to rise, provide them with a pedestal. We need to understand that the gender issue is between men and women and belongs to both and unless both come forward with the fervor for change, it will be a ludicrous failure. The society will be patriarchal, male domination will exist, questions will remain unanswered. Lets not move on to becoming educated savages.We can build a society where though we may not be too sure about the roots of existence of patriarchy but we have answers to its eradication