me at almost 27.

When I was 18
The man who gave me my first of the many names
left for his abode.
I enjoyed pleasure.
Created rings in the air.
Felt the pain of love.
I realised what those unfriendly touches meant.
I stepped into the air of independence.

When I was 20,
I held the wheel I could steer.

At 16,
I understood what melancholy was
amidst a crowd.


At 10 or 12,
I felt the first unhealthy touch.

At 14
The man I both adored and hated
became a star.

At 15
I had a shoulder to cry on, to laugh and share my secrets with.
The retalliations within me kept growing.

At 22,
I belived at the path I was moving on.
I added a sparkling feather.

At 24
I added yet another feather.
We crossed boundaries of land & water.

At 25,
The hate was transitioning to care.
I became what I wanted to be.
I missed the strong bonds of Rakhi.
The distance began to emerge.
I realised once again how important you were to me.

At 23,
I earned my first bank' s paper.

At 26,
Somebody surprised me and left me gaping.
The distance has been growing eversince.
I met the first considered man..
till now have met 4 :)
I began to fight hard in my mind.


At 21,
I crossed a milestone.

as i write this, i realise there's so much of I in me....what have i done for others.

p.s- this post is inspired by the recent Kotak ad ....celebrating 25!!!

saturday

its a saturday evening......as always m at home....nothing to do. m looking hard to do something worthwhile on weekends...probably some theatre, pottery....something fun.....
par kuch milta hi nai hai...... boring...huh!!!

had my first paper presentation today....made my point in flat 7 mins....hmmm....i need to work on elaboration skills !!!
though a good attempt....i pat myself!

aise hi....

aaaaaaarrrrrrgggh
i realise i haven't written for ages...infact today i hav logged in to blogger after a looong time.

feeling kinda strange....i know when i write it keeps me closer to myself....but still i so try to escape it :D

Well lots happened...changed my job....again!
but for the better this time.....as it is always!!

feels good m writing this :)

well yeah the job has been goood to me.....a big task coming on frm nxt week....m stressed...nah over-stressed......

n m losing out on my confidence as it is coming closer..... i have this kinda strange feeling that people are judging me, comparing me to A,B,C and m not at all feeling good abt it.

par kya karen...part of the game i guess....

the heat is getting on me now.......pls barso re megha barso....

electricity running out.....water taps drying out...what ya..... i hate the govt....huh!!!

still strugling with the marriage tiff ...last month had been very tensed on this account....but i luv u ma pa.......thank u ... muuah.....

damn tired n exhausted.......


n oh i forgot to mention.........budday was xcellent this year......a deliciously yummy cake was waiting outside my house at midnight.......received wishes from a lot of people.....could take time out to meet nani......was off to gurgaon to meet R....gosh...she surprises me or rather shocks me all the time....how can somebody be so carefree about spending lumps of money without blinking...and that too parents money???? well i surely deal with this in some post when it gets too much for me to take ....
alrite back home in time...to meet friends again........phone was constantly ringing...n i realize i DO NOT wish a lot of people on their b'days n should wish them....i'll try to!

m missing my day....:)(

the yet and yet not.....

can we have men who can be friends, who can be your bestest friends n yet not be friends n yet be more than friends n yet not be boyfriends n yet be friends n yet not be lovers n yet be soulmates n yet not be husbands n yet be someone who can read your eyes n yet not be live in partners n yet be bestest friends n yet not be boyfriends n yet be the one to understand silences and yet be the one and yet not be the one and yet be the one……


Confused …me tooo!


a bike ride this morning with just a lite sweater to cover up was awesome...i let the chill get into me...the chilly wind ruffling my hair, hitting me in the eye, the heaviness in the head...the chill in every part of the body was refreshing...it somehow calmed the rush in me......

dear

for once m not trying to be selfish...m concerned coz its not about my life alone but one more life that would have a lot of expectations and so many people linked to it. m thinking about all of it and trying to take a decision. but u are not letting me stand by that.
understand its damn difficult for me to do all this. it takes courage to let ur dreams go by and not catch hold of them. let me gather that courage. don't make me run around in circles. its baffling. everything is spinning. My mind tangles up like the ball of wool the kitten just played with. The truth is that I am tired........ tired of fighting with myself, fighting with my closest ones, tired of fighting till I loose......till I fall down.

give me the strength. show me the light.