Mah Friends are Going.....:(

just back from P's engagement party.....it was great fun n P was extremely happy!!
the best part was that it was P's n her fiance's budday today..yes both of them share the same birthday n they decided to make it even more special by exchanging rings today!! superb!

so my friends are going farther n farther..
PS's hubby switched jobs n so she moved to Bangalore last year...
R gets married next month n shifts to Pune....
P gets married in another 5 months n moves to Hyderabad....

Gosh...i'll be soooooo lonely....main roz ki bakwass si gappen kis se marungi....Phulz pals...stay back here.....Or I might go insane....

but these friends are acting more like dushmans.....if mom wasn't enough to pressurise me into getting married....these people too have ganged up with my mom...n if this continues.....U guys will make my life hell.....

just gimme some space n time..i know whats right for me....let me do it my way.....

Don't make me fight with u.....

I'll miss u girls....

thoughts

i feel like pondering over so many thoughts inside me

to comprehend these lines on my hand

to convey the things that are deep down

to make my thoughts see the light of the world

and more so

to understand the truth behind these thoughts

and for once accept what my heart wants!

Do we have an answer?

I was sitting by the red building and lush green lawns in my college mugging up for my exam that I was to give in another 20 mins. A boy of about 10 yrs, a rag picker went to a girl sitting a few meters away from where I was…I had seen him in the campus last week as well picking up plastics and stuff. Today he had papers in his hand rather than his sack. He spoke to her but within seconds turned towards me. He knew I was observing him. As I saw him coming, I concentrated on the book in my hand….he stopped by me….put forward his sheets to me. These were plain A4 sheets, one side used….I look at him….he says “ didi is par mujhe drawing bana do.”

my first thought was to refuse … I had my exam in 20 mins and quite some stuff to revise…
I took the sheets from him n asked “ kya bana du?”
“Bike bana do…”
“bike banana toh mujhe nahi aati..kuch aur batao”
he thinks, then says “mere pas pen bhi nahi hai..”

In the mean time the guard comes to shoo him off. And starts shouting at him…he lowers his eyes and gets up to go…leaving his sheets… I give the sheets back and the pen that I had in my hand.
He says thank you and goes away. So does the guard.

My eyes were moist..i was blank…numb...i didn’t even ask him his name. all through his face had the same dourly expression..…Why didn’t I stop the guard from shouting at him?

It was a stark reality early in the morning..I am preparing to go to give my post graduate degree exam and there is a child who comes to me collecting used papers from some where to make him a drawing…this boy who should be studying in a school does not even possess a pen.
Why this difference in society? Why this difference in life? Is this life for him?

I close my book and head for the examination hall.

Will I meet him again? What will I do?

the mind is the most chaotic place in the world....busier than any traffic signal...

which would be more crowded..the door to heaven or the gateway to hell???

m coming...

the sight of that glimmering sea is calling me once again....
m coming...
just keep your water pristine blue....
m coming....

झुकी नज़रें

बातों ही बातों में
न कहते हुए भी
बहुत कुछ कह गए

वो इशारे ही काफी थे
समझने के लिये
उस बात को
जिसे जुबान तक न आने दे रहे थे

कल मुझसे नज़रें मिला पाओ
उस खातिर
आज नज़रें झुका कर
चले गए

लेकिन वो झुकी नजरें
भी छुपा न पाई वो कहानी
जिसे बयां न करना चाह रहे थे तुम

roads...

we may be walking on the same road

I'll care for you in my own way

you'll never know

and perhaps I'll never show.

photo courtesy: flickr

..light

Pondering over thoughts
And yet being thoughtless

Living & outliving lies
And contemplating truth

Shaking suppressions
And questioning the alter ego

Overcoming guilts
And discovering self

Living many lives in one
And labouring dreams

The movement

from darkness to light

and light to darkness

define life.