Silence

Sitting on this side
My eyes hunt for the shore on the other
I can see the clouds
Dim sunlight filtering through them
And giving it the sparkling
Orange lining in the dusky sky.

The water of the ocean
Is playing with vibes
Blues with silver streaks
Glowing orange gems
It makes me wonder
Why are illusions so fascinating?

Through the vast expanse of the ocean
My eyes see water till the farthest point
Its pristine and peaceful
Yet my eyes search for land.
Its queer
The silence that I have loved so much
Is troubling me today.

mom...

till the child is in the womb
she is a part of the mother.
as she comes out in the world
she has to learn to live for herself.

For the mother,
the process of detatchment starts
from the day she gives her a new life,
outside her.

Yet mothers are the only ones
who can sense our pains
our angsts
without even words being conveyed

she is the one
who first felt us
who first loved us
who nourished us before herself
satiated our hunger before hers
treated our pains before hers
awoke nights so that we could sleep

how much more do i state here....


can we ever do or feel
even a fraction of this love
towards our mom..

we are the ones
who take them for granted
ALWAYS.

blah blah!

well had a fantabulous weekend....it was the warming up ceremony for my cousin's new shop....which means a get together with all relatives n cousins...and lot of work n exhaustion!!
i can see a change in me.....i sacrificed my only dearest holiday to go there rather than catching up with my dearest sleep....m enjoying the company of my relatives unlike earlier....or is it beacuse my friends have gone away..or is it coz it gives a break from the usual work day schedule....i guess all..;)

again i faced the same situation where all my extended family just casually sat around n attacked me...well counselled me.....well coaxed me....to get married!!! phew....but i have learnt to react in a mature away...earlier they talk about it n i would be in rage.....now i handle it all with a smile on my face....i have become confident of the fact that their talking n cribbing can't change my decision....so my being so calm yesterday confused them a bit!!!...yipppppppie!!!
sorry ma n pa...m not ready for it yet......i can't understand marriage....i dnt want to marry coz every body does....that just doesn't convince me....i need to feel the need to get maaried deep inside....i can't do it just for the sake of it....
n about my growing up n age factor.....i dnt know what to say....i understand that as parents they might be right n worried....but am i wrong???

well i have joined school...n m stuck in that damn rigid system again...i know i never wanted to teach in a school...but destiny has its way.....what i hate the most is i can't keep shouting at students all the time n restricting them form doing n things....i just love being friends with them....but neither the system nor the students are geared up for this.....m learning to adjust....

i need to loose weight.....

m rediscovering a few relationships....n m glad :)

m still waiting for my results ..fingers crossed.....

the restless monkey inside me tells me that the change that is coming up is for good....inshaallah

fiction 55

the pristine water was witness to both of them strolling on the wet sand along the beach...hands entwined
the scenic sunset and the gushing waves could not sooth the queer feelings rousing inside her ...

he broke the silence "i had a beautiful time last night....with your best friend"