Tuesday, September 29, 2009

my dads' really angry....

its been more than a week my dad and me havn't been talking.....he brought up the marriage issue again and i bluntly said no.....he just walked off in anger....and we havn't been looking in the eye since then......and i havn't slept this whole week.

all my life, all these years i have made every attempt trust me EVERY thing i can to not to annoy my dad. i have given up things he didn't like me doing be it about friends or going out or whatever. i wouldn't do things which i know he'll not like.....n i admit i havn't cared so much about my mom's permissions as about my dad's.

his not talking to me is really making me weak. i have had a proper sleep since then and its been 9 days and the only thing on my mind 24*7 is the issue of marriage. m i wrong in saying a no to this life long so called sacred commitment?? my reasons that i am not ready yet, i need more time and that i do not feel the need to get married right now do not convince them.

i do not find anything wrong. i am 25....and i do not feel the need to get married is an absolutely strong reason for me to say a 'no'. i do not find marriage a necessity. for me it is not something that HAS TO BE DONE. i did like to do it if i genuinely feel the need for it. its a big thing..its a big commitment..its about sharing lifes and am i supposed to do it just coz its the next step in life?????
also i do not like the baggage that marriage brings along......a new family, me being expected to be the responsible one, in-laws, the cooking stuff and then babies...uff.....i don' think m made for it.....

according to my folks, m absolutely on the border of crossing the marriageable age. one more year and i will be making life difficult for them and myself.

in my head...i know m right....but my decision has spoilt the air at home....its just so uncomfortable.....and everybody...friends, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles...everyone is making me feel as if m wrong....

am i wrong?

everybody says its just the anxiety and fear of marriage that i have and m giving stupid reasons for it......i don't think so.

m hating this tussle with my dad...should i give in....?

5 comments:

Nilu said...

Dear friend,

Just hang in there. Marriage is a big responsibility and should only be entered into when you are ready for it. Having said that, it is a fact that there is a right age for everything. You still have time for a couple more years, but you need to prepare yourself in that time.

Good luck!

The Double Inverted Commas said...

Being somehow in the same situation, I can completely emphathise with you.
You know somehow I think that we Indians take marriage extra seriously...Look at the West, yeah there marriages don't last, but at least there is so much freedom, no pressure on the girl to "adjust, look after everyone" blah blah...Though I can understand your dad's worry also...however, I think it's best you don't prolong this silence between the two of you. Have a chat with him, try and tell what you are thinking...he will understand.. all the best...

state of mind? said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
state of mind? said...

@ Nilu
hey thanks a ton for those supporting words....i do need them.

@ DIC
U r so very right over this.
thanfully dad n me have started talking...only necessary conversation but we have....that silence was killing me....
but the pressure hasn't gone away...mom's started pushing me to get a pic clicked from one of those studios who are sincere loyals of photoshop...
but m trying to hold my ground hard.....

The Double Inverted Commas said...

Hey nice to know you two are back on talking terms. As far as the picture thing is concerned..well..there is many a slip between the cup and the lip :)