Mah Friends are Going.....:(

just back from P's engagement party.....it was great fun n P was extremely happy!!
the best part was that it was P's n her fiance's budday today..yes both of them share the same birthday n they decided to make it even more special by exchanging rings today!! superb!

so my friends are going farther n farther..
PS's hubby switched jobs n so she moved to Bangalore last year...
R gets married next month n shifts to Pune....
P gets married in another 5 months n moves to Hyderabad....

Gosh...i'll be soooooo lonely....main roz ki bakwass si gappen kis se marungi....Phulz pals...stay back here.....Or I might go insane....

but these friends are acting more like dushmans.....if mom wasn't enough to pressurise me into getting married....these people too have ganged up with my mom...n if this continues.....U guys will make my life hell.....

just gimme some space n time..i know whats right for me....let me do it my way.....

Don't make me fight with u.....

I'll miss u girls....

Do we have an answer?

I was sitting by the red building and lush green lawns in my college mugging up for my exam that I was to give in another 20 mins. A boy of about 10 yrs, a rag picker went to a girl sitting a few meters away from where I was…I had seen him in the campus last week as well picking up plastics and stuff. Today he had papers in his hand rather than his sack. He spoke to her but within seconds turned towards me. He knew I was observing him. As I saw him coming, I concentrated on the book in my hand….he stopped by me….put forward his sheets to me. These were plain A4 sheets, one side used….I look at him….he says “ didi is par mujhe drawing bana do.”

my first thought was to refuse … I had my exam in 20 mins and quite some stuff to revise…
I took the sheets from him n asked “ kya bana du?”
“Bike bana do…”
“bike banana toh mujhe nahi aati..kuch aur batao”
he thinks, then says “mere pas pen bhi nahi hai..”

In the mean time the guard comes to shoo him off. And starts shouting at him…he lowers his eyes and gets up to go…leaving his sheets… I give the sheets back and the pen that I had in my hand.
He says thank you and goes away. So does the guard.

My eyes were moist..i was blank…numb...i didn’t even ask him his name. all through his face had the same dourly expression..…Why didn’t I stop the guard from shouting at him?

It was a stark reality early in the morning..I am preparing to go to give my post graduate degree exam and there is a child who comes to me collecting used papers from some where to make him a drawing…this boy who should be studying in a school does not even possess a pen.
Why this difference in society? Why this difference in life? Is this life for him?

I close my book and head for the examination hall.

Will I meet him again? What will I do?

the mind is the most chaotic place in the world....busier than any traffic signal...

which would be more crowded..the door to heaven or the gateway to hell???

tagged!!!

Shayari tagged me with this! ..i know its coming very late...but well....here it goes..

It's all about listing 25 random things about oneself. Well here I go about it.

1. I hate guests at home for it counts for a lot of formalities n those artificial smiles..

2. I just absolutely hate to cook!! n I secretly wish for a hubby who loves to cook n I’ll be more than happy to let that load go off my head.

3. I really really vouch for dowry free marriages....no no not even in the name of gifts…

4. I keep on teasing my mom for her superstitions but m growing up to be like her… ;)) I luuv her,adore herbut I dnt wanna be like her…

5. I just luv sitting under the stars, watching sunsets..…there’s nothing like it .

6. m 24 n still not very convinced about my professional choice…

7. m a big time sleepoholic…n I mean it!

8. I just so much luuuuv that spicy chilli sauce that u get with momos….i always make it a point to beg some extra sauce from the momo guy!! Its yummy…slurp!

9. I have this crazy thing in me….m a mango lover…I just gorge on mangoes during summers n then I crave for them in winters too!!..all the time….!

10. for some people m an introvert,khadus,arrogant person but with some I can just go on talking endlessly!

11. I talk to myself. I talk to myself n I talk to myself….n start thinking that I have conveyed it to the other person…but actually I don’t….n that’s how I mess it all up!!

12. I always end up falling weak in front of the wrong people ;(( I need lots of wisdom on judging people…

13. In my small heart in one small vein I have a desire to learn to play guitar but I can’t even get the sa re ga ma right on my vocals!! I did try learning it, my teacher got fed up n I left it in all embarrassment!!

14. I want to learn to ride a bike!

15. n n n I just need to visit leh…I think it’s the mostest beautifullest( is that a word?) place I have ever known hear of….

16. I just love to listen to all those songs played on radio all night loooooong

17. I just feeling like brutualy murdering when those stupid aunty n uncles try coaxing me into getting married with the famous one-liner
“har ladki ko ek din apne ghar jana hi hota hai…yeh ghar to paraya hai.”
Uff gimme a break….abhi meri umar hi kya hai….n phulez mind ur own life....not mine....

18. n m really proud to say that unlike others girls m the mechanic of my house…from
changing bulbs n tube lights, joining wires, fixing small stuff, dealing with plumbers,
mechanics..i can do it!!

19. I can just never keep my clothes in an order in my closet…every 15 days I religiously
take out all my clothes, fold them n neatly place them in hangers n bundles…but I cannot maintain it…I just ruffle up everything while taking out, picking.choosing what to wear
that after 15 days…its like open the closet n all stuff inside is falling on ur face!!n then
again the cycle repeats!!

20. I suck big time when it comes to managing relatives…

21. I go nuts when I go shopping….when ever I shop I just can’t buy anything…I have to
like it in the first instant look or m not buying it….n this way I end up searching every
damn shop in the whole market n end up home empty haded….and that’s why I usually
go shopping alone!!

22. I like to take the off beaten road…the road that is less traveled….be it profession,
clothes,hobbies,friends…whatever…I don’t like being counted in the heard…though I
don’t want to stand out as well….its like I like to be there n yet be
different….confusing…dnt worry…m a gemini!!

23. when I was a kid I used to luuv cycling…. n I was pretty apt at it….i used to ride very
fast n evry few days some aunty would come home complaining to my grand mom….ha
ha once I banged into a kabadi wala on a blind turn….n he was mad at me for all his stuff lay open on the road n I couldn’t stop laughing….n m thinking of it m giggling even
now!!
Ahh…its now I can connect why I luuv driving so much…n no wonder my dad is so
anxious when m out with his car!!lol….

24. I miss my grandpa…its been 7 yrs n I still think of him n remember those times when I
just loved squeezing into his lap n he used to keep patting on my head in silence…..n u
know he was suffering so much at that time…I actually prayed to God to take him away so that he doesn’t have to bear all that pain…..I miss u a lot daddy…nobody can share
that magic that we had…

25. okay…I think I got too emotional above….n since this is the last one…I shud end it on a happy note….hmmm..ok…..i hav this mad cousin …..whenever he needs to fart he positions his bum bang infront of the face of someone and just farts!! phooooooooooooooo!!
n I have learnt this from him;)))!!!! Try it guys its real fun!!!

please feel free to tag urself!!

packaging

chahe woh ek dry fruit ka dibba ho ya phir insan,



packaging matters!

..light

Pondering over thoughts
And yet being thoughtless

Living & outliving lies
And contemplating truth

Shaking suppressions
And questioning the alter ego

Overcoming guilts
And discovering self

Living many lives in one
And labouring dreams

The movement

from darkness to light

and light to darkness

define life.

colours

within the grey vista of life

happy yet sad

fearing behind smiles

pleasant yet scared

vindicating himself at every criticism

with the wisdom of experience

speaking through his actions

supressing the whirlpool of emotions

hoping for a miracle

to swap his vicissitude

with a plethora of colours.

from one life to another

we looked into each others eyes
mine were sad
his had tears.

tears of remembrance.
remembrance of
those first walks with his soft hand gripped in a protective hand..
those first jumps..
first and forever chats..
his scoldings ..
walks to school holding his hands...
man to man talks..
and then one day..
the protective hand was left alone
coz the other moved ahead in life.

remembrance of
those walks when his shivering hand held the firm hand
scoldings given to him to have his medicines
sitting by him through the night
and praying for his well being
hoping that medicines work
sitting by him in the hospital for weeks
man to man talks
and then one day he left
to move ahead in the life cycle.


his eyes were rather painful
they were talking which is unusual
unable to conceal the grief
expressing the loss of his father.

dew on the green carpet

Dew on the green carpet,
Birds chirping in their nests,
Some are warm in their quilts,
Some are guarding others concrete.

The sun is struggling to spread its warmth
Beyond the clouds that have come down from heaven.

The ruins of the hours spent by
Tell the story for everyone..
Its burnt coal and tree branches for some
For others it’s a spread out quilt.

But the dew on the green carpet
Is the same for everyone.

Dog Mania

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
Anonymous


There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
Andy Rooney

Dogs love their friends & bite their enemies, quite unlike people.
Anonymous


If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise .
Unknown

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
Phil Pastoret

scared

I am scared….for why do I feel so detached after all the happiness, after all has went well.. I feel nice but still there is a void…..why that loneliness…

Why do I wait for some soul to come and answer all my questions…to finish up all that I have left unanswered….
Do miracles really happen…or m I over sizing my goals…m scared that will I be able to achieve what I am aiming at….am I sure what m looking up to is the best, the perfect for me….

Will it be right to open up my dark secrets to anyone, will that person be trustworthy enough to not be back fire it on me….
Why am I feeling so scared to move ahead…to take risks…I have not been like this before….m feeling dependent, m holding myself back….why?

M scared..scared to move ahead coz nothing has been so hazy, so blurred before…decisions have not been so tough before…I need my guiding light to be with me once again..like everytime…..











You know one of the most difficult things in the world is to come to terms with your own self. Both your greatness and your weakness.

Wanted...part 2

A few days ago I had updated a list of things I want in my life to happen….and to this day I realize what are we doing in our lifes..what are we here for….are we doing anything purposeful…nything that could change this world…..na nothing…zilch….zero…

What we are doing is running after our dreams…and fulfilling a handful of responsibilities that come our way as duties….

What are dreams? Our dreams are our wishes, our desires..its our ego….its our subtle way of saying or showing the world who we really are…with money, power, with status.

And when these dreams aren’t fulfilled we are shattered, frustrated, broken, ..we revolt around and shout about the world’s unfairness to us….the ego is bruised.

We have made our lives complex by the growing day..by giving all the socially acceptable names and tags to all the not so acceptable things…

Don’t you think childhood was simpler….everything was clearer. A yes or a no would end it all. A child has the freedom to say no to a touch, to a pinch, to an arm he doesn’t like…. A child has the freedom to ask for things she likes and throw away things she hates…a child has the freedom to be brutually honest…

We ourselves have robbed ourselves of this innocence, of that freedom….to pursue our so called dreams….

That Dawn...

It was a usual morning we woke up to.
But someone came with its wings spread wide..
Its just that we were ignorant of its presence..
Standing tall outside…
Waiting to take away what was precious to so many of us…

We fought, we tried …
There was anxiety, chaos..
There were prayers with tearful eyes…
To let everything be as before…
But it wasn’t to be…
It had come but we couldn’t see it till the last..
Our conscience hits us for it till date…
It took you away…away..far away….

That dawn brought with it a thousand sunsets…

m learning....

I have lived two and a half decades
but I learn everyday
how to deal with cowards.
how to deal with maniacs.
how to deal with always sex on the mind men.
how to deal with life..

m learning..
how to smile with a baby...
look at the world from the eyes of innocence...
m learning how to look at the world from the transition from innocence to smartness.
m learning to be street smart.

m learning..
to understand friends..
to understand family...
to understand colleagues...
to understand relations…

m learning..
to rise up..
to raise my voice…
to let others know that m here….

m learning……

heal the world....

this song is on my mind since...


There's a place in your heart, and I know that it is love
And this place could be much brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try, you'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel, there's no hurt or sorrow
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better place
Heal the world make it a better place
For you and for me and the entire human race

There are people dying if you care enough for the living
Make a better place for you and for me

If you want to know why, there's a love that cannot lie
Love is strong, it only cares for joyful giving if we try
We shall see in this bliss, we cannot feel fear or dread
We stop existing and start living
Then it feels that always love's enough for us growing
So make a better world, make a better world

And the dream we were conceived
In will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life wound this earth crucify
ts soul though it's plain to see this world is heavenly be God's glow
We could fly so high let our spirits never die in my heart
I feel you are all my brothers create a world with no fear
Together we'll cry happy tears see the nations turn
Their swords into plowshares
We could really get there if you cared enough for the living
Make a little space, to make a better place
For you and for me .......

Those Special Moments...

Those times when sitting alone, you just smiled……

Those times with friends,in the crowded of places, you have the most philosophical conversations…

That moment when you score more than you expected to…

That moment when you make small problems turn your life upside down and then smile later at your stupidity…


Those times when u end up sharing your dark secrets with the person u have disliked all this while..

Those times when we mis-judge people and then become best of friends later on…

That moment when you think of someone and the next second, her name flashes on your cell phone….

Those times when you went to college promising yourself to attend all the lectures, but end up sitting in the lawns with your best friend and all the junk food from the canteen and endless talks…

Those times of college when you intend to go to the third floor, but end up on the terrace engrossed in conversation….

Those project trips from college, the night stays at friends place and discussing what not….

The moment when someone who is very very close to you is going away from you,its paining inside but you smile and wish no matter where they go they always be happy..

A song on radio reminding you of someone….

The first breeze of winter…

Gazing at the star studded sky, cool breeze…all alone and at peace….

The priceless smile on your face when you bump into your childhood crush…

An inspiring SMS when you are feeling all down and out…

The mild rain and long walks…..and unforgettable conversations….

20 bucks and two hungry stomachs…

3.30 am….and still eager to talk more….


All of us have had those special moments….the small things of life that make it worth living. This reminds of the scene in Bluffmaster when Boman Irani asks Abhishek Bachhan to feel those special moments in life…..all of us have ours that makes what we call nostalgia…..and leaves us with a loss of words but million dollar smiles…..

A Memorable Day

5th November….a very hectic day…lot of tension at work coz the next dawn brings with it an important milestone which will hopefully be achieved by the organization….there’s anxiety in the air, people are nervous but hopeful, preparations in full swing, a few arguments coz the pressure was taking the better side of every one…. The day ends hoping the next one is pleasant….get back home with a little work to be done and gear up for the big day….I feel a slight headache..just throw my papers aside…get on the net..try to work out and plan…not interested..just let it go…..hook on to one of the social networking sites…huh…no one online……( why is it that no fool is online when I genuinely need them…otherwise they are always there to waste their time and mine as well???)

well well…I realize I have to fill up an exam form…actually have been giving it since past 2 years but never qualified despite all my desperate attempts…the last I gave was my 4th attempt…and the result is expected any time soon….the day after is the last day for submission…so I run, fill it up and get it attested from my neighbour…come back…glued to the net again….casually just check the website…..and oh my God….the 4th attempt result is out….I do my prayers…and then call my sis to check the result..( coz m superstitious…I never check my result)…she is fumbling through the long never ending list of roll nos….I wasn’t very hopefull but yet hoping that its positive…and to my delight it indeed is….Oh my God!!! I just cannot believe it…m gaping with surprise, wonder, shock….and tears rolling down my cheeks…my mom n dad rush and hug me with excitement but my eyes are still on the screen trying to believe that my roll no. is there….I just could not believe it…past 2 years I have been working hard for this exam but the result had always been disappointing….so it was hard for me to believe that I had finally cracked it….i just cry and cry while my mom hugs me…I don’ t know why I was crying but I know I was….that reality was difficult to believe…..its been 3 days now but everyday I check the website to see my roll no. there….:))

its been something I have desperately wanted since past two years but when I have got it…m finding it difficult to believe…

strange how things just come up suddenly…..it was work as usual throughout the day and not a pleasant day to say the least and suddenly it became so so so memorable…..a date to remember…a day that turned my hope into a reality…

that’s life I guess…..

I thank the almighty, the guiding light for being with me….always.

freedom

Its easy enough to abandon your past and just live,
though only the desolate are granted this form of emptiness called Freedom.

Kazuya Minekura

purpose

In the race between the cat and mouse mostly the mouse wins....

because.......

cat runs for the food but mouse runs for its life.

So...............remember PURPOSE is important than NEED....

an inspiring reply

the question that most of us ask to the existence when things go haywire in our lives.... WHY ME?? I came across this very interesting read......

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of CANCER.

He received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed:"Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

In the world ...over --

5 crore children start playing tennis,

50 lakh learn to play tennis,

5 lakh learn professional tennis,

50,000come to the circuit,

5000 reach the grand slam,

50 reach Wimbeldon,

4 to semi final,

2 to the finals,

When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?".

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

Happiness keeps u Sweet,

Trials keep u Strong,

Sorrow keeps u Human,

Failure Keeps u Humble,

Success keeps u Glowing,

But only God Keeps u Going.....

I hope everyone will learn something from this message.....be thankful to what u have got.......